THE ADVENTURES OF GOD AND STEVE, PART ONE:
“BORED WITH DOGS”
“Dum de dum,” muttered God, as he
doodled away at his latest creation. He was in no hurry, and wanted to try and
get things right. As he hadn’t invented time yet, he had loads of it to spare.
He had only just invented irony too, and was still enjoying the novelty.
How they
would marvel at all the work he had got done in seven days, while they
themselves would be constantly running out of time. God had a good old chuckle
to himself at that one.
“What’re
you up to now?” Asked Steve, who God had created on the second day to keep him
company. Steve had originally been a moth, but had been eaten by something God
called a ‘cat’, so God had made him into a medium sized man thing with two legs
and a tail. No cats had attempted to eat him since then. God was actually
thinking of turning Steve into a donkey the next day, but he wasn’t sure what a
donkey was yet.
“It’s like
a dog,” God told him. It’s a new kind of dog.”
“What does
it do?” Asked Steve.
“Not much,”
Admitted God, “But it looks nice. Here,” God held up a preliminary sketch for
Steve to see.
“What’s up
with its tail?” Asked Steve. “It looks like it’s stuck to its back.”
“I got
bored with dogs,” God confessed. “Tails flapping about all over the place. So I
glued this one to its back.”
“It looks
like it’s showing its arse off,” Commented Steve.
“Maybe it
is,” Said God defensively, though he hadn’t really given it that much thought.
He just wanted it to look pretty.
“He looks
quite happy,” Commented Steve, “What’s it called anyway?”
“This,” God
proudly pronounced, “Is called a ‘wolf’”.
“Cool,”
Said Steve, “Is it going to have legs as well?”
“Oh yeah,”
Mused God, “I hadn’t thought of that.”
