LIKE A CLOSED BOOK

She had a faced like a closed book

A book that you had heard was shit

And almost certainly didn’t want to read

But nonetheless, there it was

Every day,

In your face,

Like Fifty Shades Of Grey

Only shorter,

But just as thick.

NONSENSE

You’ll pardon me

If I stop talking to you

For the rest of my/your life

(delete as applicable)

But I have found

That some people take most of what I say,

Which is at least fifty percent nonsense,

At face value

And despite this being their mistake

I am the one who looks foolish

Suggesting that all the world leaders

Get together and make sandwiches

To resolve all their problems

RABBIT

The problem with people like you

Is that you never shut up

They say it’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for

That’s because they’re the ones

Busily plotting your bloody demise

While you rabbit away incessantly

About nothing

Nothing

And nothing.

IF I SAW THEM NOW...

If I saw them now

And they asked me how I was

I would probably smile and give them

A half-lie:
“Oh, you know,

The same but different, whatever,

Same shit, different place,

Let’s face it, we’re all (just) engaged

In ongoing acts of futility

So what does it matter?

That said,

At least I don’t have to put up with your particular brand of shit

Five days a week,

So,

You know,

Every cloud…”

WEBSITE UPDATE

The new <500 website is now up and running at www.lessthanfivehundred.com, featuring bonus content, shop and more.

TEAM MEETING

Thursday afternoon

Sat around a table

With all the other dupes

Enduring

The longest

Hour

Ever

I would rather chew my own face off

Than be here.